Restart
Hello,
I am writing from a headspace of half static and half frenzy. Once again, I have managed to self-sabotage my way into a familiar limbo, fuelled by the paralysing combination of perfectionism and procrastination. You don’t need a shrink to tell me that my problem is self-inflicted, and that it all stems from some need for self-validation. But I am writing because this needs to change.
I am writing because I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am going back to the start, to reiterate what really makes all of this worthwhile. I first have to work on learning how to just be happy, even if that means putting a few things on hold. Right now, the thought of finishing an album any time soon is impossible, almost reckless. There is too much intellectualising and not enough living. Sometimes having momentum is more important than finding direction.
I need to remember how to take my time and explore the things I actually love doing, instead of constantly staring at a mold that certain people decided are necessary for you and I to fit into in order to be their version of success. If art is a biproduct of living, then I’m focusing on being the best person that I can be before anything else.
The alternative is too boring and depressing to contemplate.